Crystal Palace to be rebuilt for £500m

No, I am not talking about Ian Holloway and the January transfer window, I am talking about the Crystal Palace  - as in 'burned down' fame. CP was a rather large greenhouse which was murder to keep clean that was erected in Hyde Park then unassembled before being reassembled in Sydenham.

When I was a little boy, couldn't have been much more that seven, my Pa put me on his knee and told me, 'Son, capitalism uses resources efficiently. You remember that boy and you'll have no trouble in life.' He was never any good with names.

This CP project will cost £500m of private money. Is that half a billion and all that fragile glass a wise use of resources? After all, look what happened last time.

So, while the private sector throws its money on the fire, the government either cannot afford to build houses or has some ethical excuse (such as £500m can be better spent). Say a bog standard Barratt house costs 30,000 to build - half a billion would get you over 15000 houses and keep all kinds of industries going - just think of all those crappers and kitchen unit door handles.

UK fails in Euro bid

Malmo: Despite its best efforts the UK, with its entry in last night's Eurovision Song Contest, Bonnie Tyler and 'Believe in Me', receiving 23 points, once again failed in its bid to come in last. The disappointing result means that the UK will have to compete in next year's event.

Malmo's Eurovision audience watches Bonnie Tyler last night

"Believe in Me" was up against tough competition for the last spot, which was eventually claimed by Ireland's entry - a ditty where, in spite of the sudden and catastophic end to our planet, "Love will Survive".

Oliver the Olivier

Would you believe it? The EU spokesman defending the ban on refillable olive oil dispensers in public eateries is called Oliver somethingorother. The only thing crazier than bringing in a law that such places can only have tamper proof bottles is passing the PR job onto someone called Oliver.

Better times

The real solution to these troubled economic times has arrived. It has not been provided by he government but the solution bears all the hallmarks of Conservative ethics and morality (they have none, and neither does this expanding industry). Television advertising is coming being dominated by this growth area. Among the commercials for desperate supermarkets, furniture stores, insurance companies and car manufacturers are the adverts that appeal to our most basic instinct: making money. Online, real time, in play betting is the way forward. For hundreds of years we have all tried to make money but this dirty, immoral activity has been disguised by the meaning of our labours - the worthiness of meaningful occupations or simply the hard work ethic even if it means working in a mine or a factory. But now that thin veneer of decency has worn away and the ugly brutal nihilistic ethic of no ethics is shining through. Betting - in the guise of an occasional flutter - has been, at best, thought of as a bit of fun on big race days such as The Grand National. This was the acceptable end of a spectrum that led to betting shops imprisoned behind blacked out windows where hardened myopic professional betters plied their trade. But now every other advert is for some betting site. This way forward is the link between the old industrial society that is has been dying since WW2 and the better times of the kind of society depicted in Bladerunner.