Northern Ireland Water buffoon quits.

Laurence MacKenzie chief executive of Northern Ireland Water, resigned on Wednesday. His resignation follows criticism of his bungled handling of the region’s water crisis over the festive period which left millions and millions of householders with no option but to do the washing up in their own urine. Mr MacKenzie's departure was announced by the NI Water board of directors in the early hours of Thursday morning following an eight-hour meeting during the cricket.
The water shortage in the region was caused by billions of litres of water spilling onto the streets as cheap and nasty, badly maintained water mains burst in a heavy frost. Roads became raging rivers while severely dehydrated ordinary people could only eat crackers and crisps on Christmas day. Northern Ireland Water has apologised to its customers for its mishandling of the water shortage and admitted that the episode was "somewhat embarrassing". It is estimated the crisis will cost Northern Ireland Water hundreds and hundreds of pounds in small and insulting goodwill gestures.
Mr. Mackenzie, however, had already planned to resign as he due to take on his new post in oil spill management at BP.