Are you ready for the Games?

Are you prepared for the challenges that this awesome event, the like of which has never been seen before except on those occasions it has happened previously, will bring? Are you committed to embodying the true spirit of the Games: are you all set to make as much money as possible?

These games are not for Londoners. The Games are for those people with lots of money who live elsewhere and will have to come and stay in the capital at great expense. And, once here, well and truly stuck in the money trap, any basic need they will require will cost them a fortune.

One of the burning issues about transport during that glorious 17 days is how the big stores are going to get their deliveries in so that that they can flog even more Games themed crap plus try and move over stocked Jubille pap. By the way, the Queens Golden Jubilee has no sponsors and so you can use any piece of plastic to buy that ERII 50 limited edition ice cream.

The Olympic Games in just another variation of a street fair – complete with a freak show of over built bodies bending and straining – and so the bees around the honey pot principle is nothing new as town burghers of the past put ion the fairs precisely to bring in the punters and theier ha’pennies from the sticks.

Welcome to Britain. Please have your money ready.