Troubled high street chain JJB Sports, outfitters to youth crime, is in merger talks with chav clothier, the rival JD sports.
JJB recently announced poor trading in the six weeks up to Christmas, particularly in its beach and swim wear. The 15.7% drop in sales was in spite of a new series of BBC Crimewatch and its CCTV clips and reconstructions featuring suspects wearing JJB products. JJB is rapidly approaching collapse as its debt to its bankers is ‘more toxic than a Sellafield toilet’, according to sources. JD Sports, however, had better results over the same period as the company continued to benefit from its unique selling point of being the only high street nightclub open during the day. Combining loud music with staff unable to provide any advice about sportswear other than ‘it looks good’ helped JD Sports’ buoyant sales.
If successful, the merger will create one the biggest high street chains in the country, second only to Greggs the Baker. There will be one burning issue as the new board would hope to find an alternative to the logical choice of the new chain’s name, JDJJB Sports, which is a bit of a mouthful. Sports Sports could be an alternative.
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