Early snow is government’s fault say Labour

The Labour front bench has launched a scathing attack on the Condem coalition’s mishandling of the weather. Cheryl Nimbus, Shadow Weather Minister said, ‘It is no coincidence that, with the brutally anti poor legislation of the public spending review, we now have returned to the early snows and gloomy cold days of Tory rule.’
The last significant early snow fall was seventeen years ago – again during a long Tory spell. ‘Average temperatures during Conservative parliament consistently fall behind those of Labour Governments. The country suffered a daily average of just 4 degrees during Thatcher’s rule – seasonally adjusted of course,’ said Nimbus, ‘well behind Labour’s average of 25 degrees under Blair.’
The Condem Secretary of State of Weather, Nick Frost, defended the Conservative’s record: ‘How can the Labour Party have the front to criticise our handling of the weather when the two worst winters since the war of ;47 and '78 have both been during Labour rule.' However, according to the Shadow minister Nimbus ‘the worst winter anywhere in the world ever was in 1963 and that was under the ‘You’ve Never Had it So Warm’ Macmillan reign!’
When asked how the Condems could possibly control the weather at all, Ms. Nimbus said, ‘Well they obviously have a big shiny laser gun thing which they point at the sun or clouds or something don't they.’