The so called Mullah Omar who posed as a Taliban official is not the first fake to reach the headlines over the last few decades. Operating from an office above Greggs the Baker in Watford, ‘Look! It’s..!’ Lookalikes and Imposters Ltd provides doubles and impersonators for every occasion and ‘Mullah Omar’ was one of theirs - and not a shop-keeper from Quetta as has been widley reported.
The man who met senior Afghan officials was Nigel Chalmers, a part-time bookkeeper from Bushey who also doubles as George Harrison and Rasputin at fun charity events. ‘We pride ourselves on our commitment to discretion.’ said managing director, Marilyn Monroe, ‘and Nigel pulled that job off brilliantly.’
The British government has refused to comment on allegations in the Washington Post about the faked Taliban official, suggesting they may have been duped by other imposters in the past. Closer scrutiny of images of Gordon Brown reveals that his glass eye swapped sides frequently. ‘Many of the world figures we provide doubles for have needed a few days off from their jobs at crucial times and we’ve stepped into help. Mrs Thatcher was, for many years, Steve Oak, a florist from Harpenden.’
The firm’s biggest job is far fresher in the minds of the nation. ‘It was an abject failure – we took on a job too far,’ confessed Ms Munro, referring to the performance of the England football team in South Africa, ‘When they say the England team failed to turn up, they were right.’
One saving grace for the British is that Ms. Munro’s company also supplied all the other ‘officials’ at the now infamous meeting in Afghanistan. ‘President Karzai was, in fact, a chap from PC World in Luton.’
No comments:
Post a Comment