Inbound vice president of FIFA, Jimmy Boyce, has backed new FA chairman David Bernstein to improve realtions with FIFA by increasing the amount of bribes.
After suffering the humiliating defeat in November’s vote to host the World Cup in 2018 by simply under-bribing, the FA has had a long look at its bidding process and bank balance with the aim of increasing backhanders.
"England are a major force in world football money and financial relationships with Fifa should be at a high level," said Mr. Boyce, "I'm sure Mr Bernstein will try to ensure that the level of bribes will improve. I’d particularly like a villa in Amalfi.”
David Bernstein is also on the board of several companies including French Connection, Ted Baker and Blacks Leisure, and so future FIFA delegates will expect gifts from the FA ranging from cheap and nasty chav apparel to camping equipment in addition to the de rigueur bulging brown envelope. “It is only a matter of time before a great country such as England realises its full potential and achieves the highest order of bribes and backhanders. I’m in the market for a four berth family tent with awning.” said Boyce.
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