British Prime Minister David Cameron has offered his congratulations to the England cricket team on "a brilliant performance" in Australia while claiming the triumph is the work of his government. England’s South African cricketers, by condemning to the antipodean ex colony to an innings defeat in Melbourne in a match that seemed to go on for days, have retained the Ashes.
"Retaining the Ashes for the first time in almost a quarter of a century marks a very special end to the year for the Conservatives - and a great late Christmas present for those families who couldn’t afford to buy any," The Prime Minister said. "It just shows how splendidly the country is responding to my well deserved spending cuts and shows just how well those cuts are bringing about positive changes. It is a fact that the records show that year after year, England cricket failed under Labour. We may have dishonoured all those who fought two world wars by starting to dismantle the welfare state they died for but it’s all worthwhile with a result like this.”
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