Chav and youth criminal outfitters JJB sports is to raise £31.5 million to meet its bank's loan requirements. Troubled JJB is planning to hold a nationwide day of jumble sales in the next few weeks to raise the funds lent to them by the Bank Of Scotland, a bank known for its abundant incompetence and complete lack of expertise in shrewd lending.
Sales in the six weeks to 19 December were down 15.7% on last year, JJB said. This fall was due to the bad weather conditions during the pre-Christmas period, the company said, and had nothing to do with the fact that JJB just sells rubbish.
JJB aims to cash in on unwanted Christmas gifts such as badly made, ill-fitting, garish sportswear bought from JJB itself that would be otherwise destined for an earthquake appeal in South America, Indonesia or the Lake District. They also expect a brisk trade in jumpers knitted by relatives, Top Gear Christmas annuals and Susan Boyle CDs.
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