The government has begun talks with senior church officials to move Christmas to another date in the year. This is the third year in a row in which Christmas has been a misery and a commercial flop due to the bad weather. ‘The country cannot handle the reality of Bing Crosby’s famous song,’ said Environment secretary Caroline Spelman.
The church is looking to the change image of Christmas as a dour gloomy celebration and will even consider changes to Christmas carol lyrics: ‘The church is about joy, jumping up and down and clapping with a big smile as tears of happiness run down your face and the nativity should be no different. And, after all Christmas in symbolic – it never really happened,’ said Bishop Roque of the cathedral of The West of England Where Faith Is Fun who has suggested a new version of a carol singer’s favourite:
Good King Wenceslas last looked out
One the feast of Stephen
Chucked a steak on the barbecue
And grilled it crisp and even.
Myra Slackly, who is recovering in hospital following a nasty slip on ice outside Greggs the Bakers in Oldham spoke for many who have suffered the same fate in this Christmas period: ‘They should definitely move it. I miss the good old Christmases of mild, damp, drizzly weather so maybe Christmas should be moved to the summer.’
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