Amanda Knox, the most beautiful killer ever - since records began - is in an Italian court to appeal against her 2009 conviction for the murder of Meredith Kercher. Her appeal is based on the fact that she is simply too pretty to have killed anyone at all. ‘Throughout history, murderers have been easily identifiable by their ugliness and the uglier someone is the more likely they will kill at some time in their lives,’ said her defence spokesman. ‘It does not make any sense that someone as drop dead gorgeous as Amanda would participate in any kind of homicidal activity.’ The defence team claim to have DNA evidence that Amanda had been brushing her hair following a lengthy pedicure and facial at the time of Kercher’s brutal murder. ‘Everyone knows you don’t start brandishing sharp cutlery about when you’ve just had your nails done.’
The defence also cite the extremely homely knitwear worn by Knox as further evidence that she couldn’t possibly be the kind of maniac that perpetrates violent crime. ’Look at the jumper she has had on in court this week: a multi-tone grey number with that ever so cute white collar effect. And, on top of all that overwhelming evidence - she knitted the garment herself.’
The appeal continues.
Knitting patterns can be downloaded from her website.
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