The FA Cup Final

The FA Cup Final.

It has just turned 8am. When I were a nipper in big shorts and scuffed shoes, I’d be glued to the Radio Rentals TV set by now. After a week of growing excitement at school the most famous day of the year had finally arrived: FA Cup Final Day. By now I would be watching Wake Up With The Teams FA Cup Final Special. That would be followed by Breakfast With the Teams FA Cup Final Special. To allow the teams to have showers and morning evacuations in private there would be a pre-recorded It’s A Knockout FA Cup Final Special (Jeux Sans Fronitiers FA Coup Speciale for you Europeans). The clock would be ticking down slowly towards the most famous time in the world: 3pm. There are other famous times I’m sure and I am fairly certain there will be, at some point, a wiki page with all the famous things that have happened at different times of the day – although adjustments will have to be made for the different time zones as the list will be in GMT, of course. For example, JFK was shot at 18.30 and not 12.30. Anyhow. 3pm on a Saturday is the most famous time ever – OK maybe the armistice at 11am is fairly famous too.  But it is 3pm on a Saturday, generally. And the whole day built up to that. There was a brief interlude with the news and a silly kids programme sand so we would go into the garden and re-enact the goals that had not happened yet. Then we would nip back for A Question Of Sport FA Cup Final Special before watching The Team Bus FA Cup Final Special where the teams drove from their respective two star hotels in Sussex Gardens or Kings Cross up to Xanadu: Wemberley. The excitement would become intense: as the teams got nearer the awesome twin towers, courtesy of shots from the blimp, the clock ticking relentlessly towards 3pm. It didn’t matter what the weather was like at 2.59 in London or anywhere else. It could have been snowing or blowing a hurricane but at appointed time the mythical Wembley turf shimmered beneath the sun.

That was back in the day. The FA Cup sponsored by Shitbeer is no longer at 3pm. It is now kicks off at 5.15. This is not a famous time at all. People have dentist appointments at 5.15. 5.15 is an afterthought, an in-between time. It is not even a round figure, it is not even 5.30. This is to allow men to reasonably excuse themselves and get down to the pub to drink Shitbeer while watching The FA Cup sponsored by Shitbeer. 3pm did not maximise Shitbeer consumption.

The FA Cup sponsored by Shitbeer has lost its shine and excitement. No-one mentioned the game at work this week. That loss of allure comes with the sponsorship and ITV. Budweiser is a crap beer and ITV is a crap TV station. The 5.15 kick is a crap time chosen to allow ITV to make more money. This game is/was our Heritage. Bring it back! Drop the sponsors and kick off at three!