Yes, we now know the England players who’ll be getting on the Euorlines coach to
Kiev at Victoria in two weeks time. Roy Who? Has named his first and last
England squad. Get used to their names now: Harty, Colesy, Terryey, Cahilly,
Jonesy, Lampardsey, Gerrardsey, Barryey, Defoesy, Carollsey, Wellbecksy...and,
of course, Rooneyey and young uncapped hopeful Oxlade-Chamberlainey amongst
others.
Most people in the know – pundits, sports writers, the pros themselves
- all agree this is our crappiest team ever with its worst ever manager.
Consequently this is our best chance ever...to win! This is because of our big
advantage: fitness. Many of our players actually don’t play very much as there
are loads better players in their domestic clubs and so the players are
planning to take enough underwear in big suitcases for at least two weeks
instead of the usual weekend bag Ingerland our stars take to major tournaments.
Higson is having to take time away from his Esher based dry
cleaning and shoe repair business to attend the tournament. ‘Summer is normally
a pretty quiet time for both dry cleaning and shoe repairs’, Roy explained, ‘though
we occasionally have to sort out a few broken sandal buckles.’
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