Thursday, 24 May 2012

King announces Queen’s Jubilee is going to cause drop in output



Yep. The king – well Mervyn at the B of E – reckons we’re gonna cop it due to the reduction of output over the great weekend of celebrations. Well, is that so?! Don’t be so darned negative Kingsy – where is the Chelsea spirit?! No more stuffed shirt, collar and tie gloominess - let’s all treat the weekend as a challenge instead! No pressure or what! We have all these tourists coming from all parts of the world for the jubilee celebration jubilations so let’s do what we do best: let’s milk them for every darned penny they have! Let’s make them all feel really welcome by temporary increases in the price all kinds of unavoidable tourist costs. Let’s wack ‘em at the airports: anyone without a UK passport has to pay a tenner in ‘airport development costs’;  anyone with a dodgy foreign accent pays a Jubilee Special rail fare in from the aeroporto with another fiver slapped on!  Any foreign credit cards being used over the weekend gets a 2.5% VAT surcharge! Milk ’em dry! That is what the Royal Family are these days – a tourist attraction – so let’s make a bundle. Make Kingsy eat his words.

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